Four little words...
Eggo fuckin' Waffle Cereal. I discovered this cereal last week and was so freaking blown away that I hadn't posted anything for 5 days. I just sat there eating bowl after bowl of deliciously crunchy, faux maple flavored nuggets of miniaturized "waffles." After five or so bowls I decided to add some milk. Then all hell broke loose. This shit was unbelievable. I'd had some great cereals before (Cinnamon Toast Crunch usually topping the list of All Time Greats/Favorites), but now we had a new contender. The moment you open up the box this bad boy brings you back to blissful childhood with a rush of maple syrup tantalizing your olfactory receptors. Take a whiff and I dare you to tell me it doesn't remind you of a plate of hot Eggo waffles straight from the toaster, or at least that high fructose corn syrup artificially modified to taste something like maple syrup from some cabin in Vermont that you used to drown them in (because in all honesty, who's parents actually bought "real" maple syrup (go to hell Joel)). You've got to try this if for nothing else but to reconnect with some part of your pre-pubescent life through a bowl, some milk and sweetened, processed grain product. It does nothing less than conjure up some idea of youth and childhood and innocence that you've left behind a long time ago. Eggo Waffle Cereal with Maple Syrup is a sweetened time-machine that's part of a "healthy", flashback inducing breakfast that tastes like an edible morning sunrise looks like it might taste like...rich, and warm and chock full of morning sunshine goodness.. Now, I know the idea of nostalgic breakfast foods seems a bit cliche (actually very cliche: Boo Berry, Cap'n Crunch, Fruity Pebbles, etc.), but you have to realize that Eggo Waffle Cereal with Maple Syrup rocks. Of course that's just one man's opinion...just check out what this assbag thinks of them - http://jefitoblog.com/blog/?p=574. Notice that this douchebag said, and I quote: "...I knew that frozen waffles were for dogs and poor people." If you've tapped that link I hope you also commented about what a complete shit-stain he is. "L'eggo my eggo," asshole and I'll fuck your shit up with the taste of fake maple syrup. That's about all for now so...peace... (except to that butthole who not only insulted me, but perhaps also quite a great section of the American (and maybe Canadian) populace.... Fuck him.P.S. "Am I smooshing you?" may be the funniest thing you've ever enjoyed hearing, if only you were me (and someone else I really like).
posted by ronak01 @ 2/07/2006 02:37:00 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Ok, first of all - Cinnamon Toast Crunch has a pretty good taste, but gets a very poor score on the sogginess factor scale. It starts off as a "crunch", that is if you eat it, um, immediately. But let's say you pour the milk in, then walk down to the TV room, get all situated, channel surf for minute, then take a bite - you are in for one unpleasantly soggy surprise. I need a cereal that's going to let me relax a little before devouring it. Consider Crispix. The word "crisp" is also contained within the name - but unlike Cinnamon Toast Slush, Crispix is not a liar. The key lies within its superior milk-capturing structure. It traps in milk like a cage, rather than soaking it in like a Cinnamon Toast Sponge. Crispix may not taste as sweet, but it is still damn tasty. (Chex would be a similar example). At first look, the new Eggo Cereal seems to show a promising anti-sogginess structure - with its attempt to resemble a tiny waffle and all. They even describe it as "crunchy". Obviously, this is a very important cereal factor to me personally. The milk can soften it somewhat, but it defnitely should not turn into mush. Additionally, I happen to be very fond of frozen Eggo waffles. When you're on the go, they are quick and yummy. On his blog, Jefito (what kind of jerkass name is that?), says he doesn't think there's a drop of maple syrup in the ingredients. There is probably a little bit, like maybe in the, uh, natural flavoring. I just think he shouldn't jump to conclusions. With this "natural flavoring", mixed with high fructose corn syrup and molasses, it probably tastes a lot like maple syrup - hence the flavor that is boldly advertised. I'm going to pick up a box next time I go to the store. If it doesn't sastify my taste buds, well, I guess I can always drizzle on some of that real maple syrup that I have all stocked up in my cabinet. (you gotta have the real thing - I don't care if I'm broke or if I have to travel to Vermont myself)
Well, I've never been a big fan of highly sugared cereal but I would be willing to try this one. Waffles and syrup in the convenience of a cereal, how could I not try it? Ronak is not the only fan of this cereal. Someone else I know was carrying on about its mapley-goodness on Monday.
has ronak replaced his boozing with binge eating? and good goddamn, dr. wise posted a detailed analysis. i'm wearing a mexican wrestling mask and laughing at all youse fools. don't you know that these eggo waffles shits are just a plot by the canadians to get us fighting about something so that we won't notice when they poison our water supply with molson ice? fucking canadians, and that goes for you dual-citizenshipers too.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RONAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that's right, twenty-six exclamation points)
that chick's a one-upper. classic
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